


Episode 2: "And If You Dance Like Hell"

by gaypetersimmonds, spellwatch642



Series: The Valid Project: Season 1 [2]
Category: Original Work, bare: A Pop Opera - Hartmere/Intrabartolo
Genre: Canon Autistic Character, Canon Bisexual Character, Canon Character of Color, Canon Gay Character, Canon Lesbian Character, Canon Non-Binary Character, Canon Trans Character, Gen, Screenplay/Script Format, welcome back lads
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-22
Updated: 2019-04-22
Packaged: 2020-01-24 03:43:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,735
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18563230
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gaypetersimmonds/pseuds/gaypetersimmonds, https://archiveofourown.org/users/spellwatch642/pseuds/spellwatch642
Summary: Since last year's disastrous production of Cats, the drama program at Shoreditch Secondary School has been shit. But this year, new teacher Mx Stenberg is going to try and make a statement by directing a Year 11 production of bare: A Pop Opera.The majority of students of Shoreditch really don't care about the show, but the drama kids are more excited than anything. The few students who end up auditioning aren't exactly the most popular at the school, and they don't all like each other, but that's not going to stop them. The show must go on, even if it means risking everything.





	Episode 2: "And If You Dance Like Hell"

FADE IN:

 

INT. SSS AUDITORIUM - AFTERNOON

 

QUENTIN is sitting on the edge of the stage, swinging their legs, as the CAST start taking off their bags and coats and tossing them to the edge of the room, all looking sluggish and worried in contrast to QUENTIN’s enthusiasm. As they congregate in the middle of the room, QUENTIN jumps off the stage to join them.

 

QUENTIN  
Okay, let’s start reading!

 

ESTHER  
Um, how do you propose we do that?

 

QUENTIN  
Esther, child, what is the problem?

 

ESTHER  
It’s sung through. And we clearly don’t have enough actors.

 

ALISTAIR  
What about Anya Reiss? You know, in her modern adaption of Spring Awakening - the play, obviously - the kids played the adults. Well, the actors played the kids playing the adults, it’s so meta.

 

LIZ  
Yeah, a meta _phor_.

 

ALISTAIR  
Nice!

 

LIZ smiles slightly to herself.

 

QUENTIN  
I’ll just read their parts.

 

ESTHER  
You know, I have always thought that Sister Chantelle needs to be played by a blonde, androgynous twelve year old.

 

QUENTIN  
[gasping] I am still your teacher, you know that, right?

 

ESTHER  
Not since you became my assistant director. Now, tell me, where do you think we’re going to find a Claire?

 

QUENTIN  
I don’t know… Claire’s?

 

JORDAN  
[quietly, from the other side of the hall] I was attacked by a loose tiger in Claire’s once.

 

JAMES  
Shit, me too!

 

JORDAN and JAMES start up a conversation about tiger attacks, other people joining in and creating general chaos. ESTHER sighs and mutters to herself.

 

ESTHER  
Where are we going to find some talented newcomers in a place like _this_?

 

CUT TO:

 

INT. SSS SPORTS HALL - AFTERNOON

 

MR WEBBER - a terrifyingly overzealous tracksuit wearing PE teacher - paces in front of a large group of teenagers - including SANDY, JAKE, BRYAN and JON, all sitting on a wooden bench, looking up, nothing but fear and boredom in their eyes.

 

WEBBER  
This year we’re not taking any prisoners. We’re going all out, claws blazing!

 

TAI ROSEN - a polite looking, obviously bored Asian boy - leans over to some of his teammates, as WEBBER continues to shout, occasionally throwing things that only just miss the students.

 

TAI  
Are we absolutely sure he isn’t a furry?

 

JAKE  
This entire team is built with the bricks of furrydom, Tai, we all know this.

 

The others look confused, but laughs anyway.

 

WEBBER  
If any of you even step a toe out of line this term, I will not hesitate to kick you all to the curb!

 

A football player sitting nearest to the door, GREG MICHAELS, suddenly stands up.

 

GREG  
That’s it! I can’t take it anymore! I quit!

 

GREG runs to the door and flings it open, letting JAMES stumble in as he leaves, and look around in feigned confusion.

 

JAMES  
This is not the outside…

 

WEBBER points an accusatory finger at him.

 

WEBBER  
You! Can you run?

 

JAMES  
Yes?

 

WEBBER  
Can you receive passes?

 

JAMES  
I prefer to give them.

  
WEBBER   
Are you willing to die for the sport?

 

JAMES  
God, yes.

 

WEBBER  
Sit down! Let’s begin!

 

TAI and JAKE shuffle over to make room on the bench for JAMES, who sits down next to them, seeming comfortable and satisfied.

 

JAMES  
[to JAKE] Hey, piss kink.

 

TAI  
Welcome to the team.

 

JAMES  
Thanks. I have a lot of experience, running from my problems.

 

WEBBER turns sharply back towards JAMES, glaring at him.

 

WEBBER  
What’s your name, boy?

 

JAMES  
James. Cohen. James Cohen.

 

WEBBER  
Oh… One of those… musical types.

 

JAMES  
In my defense, I was dragged into it. Also, how can you tell that from my name?

 

BRYAN  
He’s a stoner cunt, sir!

 

JAMES  
Okay, judgemental prick.

 

WEBBER  
Bryan. You know as well as I that we need a certain amount of players to make a full team, so I suggest you accept your teammate if you want to play the next game.

 

TAI  
[under his breath] I have literally been the water boy for two years.

 

WEBBER  
Anyway, _music man,_ you should think better than to do a musical around here. The last musical that was ever performed was directed by yours truly - Cats! It… flopped. Just like this musical will too!

 

JAMES  
Uh, yeah, totally.

 

BRYAN  
[snorting] Wanker.

 

WEBBER  
If you are going to act like that, I want ten laps of the sports field. Go!

 

WEBBER pushes JAMES off of his seat, and everyone else starts to stand up, most reluctant, some grinning and chatting with friends. They walk towards a door on the other side of the hall. JAMES accompanying TAI and JAKE.

 

CUT TO:

 

EXT. SPORTS HALL - AFTERNOON

 

JAMES, TAI and JAKE are jogging around the field in a small group, red-faced and dying a little.

 

JAMES  
I hate this, I hate this, I hate this, I hate--

 

JAKE  
Don’t you just love it?

 

BRYAN runs past them, smiling maliciously at JAMES.

 

JAMES  
Suddenly, I do.

 

JAMES flips BRYAN off, and starts to run faster until he catches up with him and ends up taking the lead, infuriating BRYAN. JAKE sighs as him and TAI walk across the middle of the field to meet JAMES on the other side, JAKE smiling apologetically at BRYAN.

 

WEBBER  
[shouting] I spy a couple of cheaters! Love, Rosen, back on course.

 

They do, now they have walked over to JAMES, and are walking beside him as he slows to a jog, still staying in the lead.

 

TAI  
Why is Webber the actual worst?

 

JAMES  
Because he’s a furry.

 

TAI  
Okay, not all furries, mate.

 

JAMES  
Got something to confess, Tai?

 

JAKE  
Webber’s not all bad.

 

TAI  
Jake, he made Sandy cry because she missed practice to visit her gran. When she was in hospital.

 

JAKE  
[deadpan] Yeah. You’re right. He’s… a real weenie.

 

JAMES  
Just say he’s a fucking dickhead, coward.

 

JAKE  
Dude! There are kids here!

 

TAI  
I’m literally a month younger than you.

 

JAKE  
A mere baby! So, what’s the whole musical thing about, huh?

 

JAMES  
My friend, Nick, he kinda pushed me to audition. And I just thought, ‘Okay, so that’s what we’re doing now.’

 

TAI  
Pink hair Nick? He called me a crab once. He then sang Under The Sea for the rest of the day.

 

JAMES  
Why the fuck did he do that?

 

TAI  
Oh, well, it was back when I went by Sebastian.

 

JAKE  
That doesn’t make any sense. Sebastian was a lobster.

 

TAI  
That’s what I said to him. So, what’s this show actually about?

 

JAMES  
I was kinda high while they explained it, but basically it’s about two boys at a Catholic school trying to keep their relationship a secret.

 

TAI  
So, uh, are there any parts left?

 

JAMES  
Plenty. We’re missing a wholeass lead part, actually.

 

TAI  
Huh. I’m not… not interested.

 

JAMES  
I’ll pay you. I will pay you to be in it. Wait, I’m broke. Esther will pay you to be in it.

 

TAI  
Uh… Why the fuck not? I’m only the waterboy! Jake, you have to come too!

 

JAKE  
How are you even allowed to put it on with that storyline?

 

JAMES  
It’s not like, provocative or anything. It’s just two guys in love.  And some Church fucking, but hey, who’s counting?

 

JAKE  
[amazed] People fuck a Church?

 

JAMES  
In… Inside of a church. How would you… Stick your dick in the body of Christ, or whatever the fuck goyim do. I don’t know.

 

JAKE  
Okay, I’ve never…

 

JAMES  
Come on, Jake. What does it take? [pause] Ha, that rhymed. Look, there will be… I don’t know, plenty of cute girls there. Like, I don’t know, Liz Tudor. Or Esther Montner, she’s pretty cool.

 

TAI  
Isn’t Esther--

 

SANDY [O.S.]  
Esther Montner?

 

JAKE  
Jesus, Sandy, when did you get here?!

 

Pan round to SANDY, who is hardly even breathless, stopping to walk with the BOYS and take a drink of water.

 

SANDY  
I’m on my seventh lap! Why are we talking about Esther?

 

JAMES  
She’s in the school musical as one of the leads. And director. And stage manager.

 

TAI  
Yeah, we’re trying to convince Jake to audition.

 

SANDY  
I’ll audition! Come on, Jake, it’ll be fun!

 

JAKE  
I-- I don’t know. Maybe.

 

SANDY  
[flirtatiously] Maybe?

 

JAKE  
Alright, fine! But I’m not putting on a leotard or anything!

 

JAMES  
There go my plans for the costume department.

 

WEBBER [O.S.]  
We’re here to run, not chat!

 

CUT TO:

 

EXT. SCHOOL GROUNDS - SUNSET

 

NICK sits alone on a teacher’s car’s hood, smoking. It has a personalised number plate that reads “W3BB3R”.

 

He checks his phone. No new messages.

 

He texts JAMES ‘where r u??? Im waiting!!!’

 

He puts his phone down and takes another puff, as a group of football players run past, NICK ignoring their hoots of sport.

 

JAMES runs past, with TAI, JAKE and SANDY, not noticing NICK, who doesn’t notice him.

 

FADE TO:

 

INT. SSS AUDITORIUM - AFTERNOON

 

ALISTAIR, ESTHER and LIZ are early for rehearsals.

 

ESTHER is humming "Plain Jane Fat Ass" as ALISTAIR quietly reads over the dialogue between "Reputation Stain’d" and "Ever After".

 

ALISTAIR  
I saw the Virgin Mary, and she was [whispers] black!

 

LIZ, who has been watching him the entire time, moves closer to him and laughs shrilly into his ear.

 

LIZ  
You are so funny!

 

ALISTAIR  
Excuse… me?

 

ESTHER watches on with amusement as LIZ awkwardly tries to make conversation with an entirely oblivious ALISTAIR.

 

LIZ  
So, what do you think of the show?

 

ALISTAIR  
It’s basically a masterpiece! The allusions to Romeo and Juliet are done fantastically, the dialogue from it that they include actually propels the story onwards instead of making it look like a copy!

 

LIZ  
You couldn’t be more right. And the characterisation and feminism and the internalised homophobia and foreshadowing incorporated into the characters!

 

ALISTAIR  
I know! Like-- It’s just--- Ugh, so good! And, oh fuck, don’t get me start--

 

The door bursts open, making ALISTAIR and LIZ shut up, both looking ashamed.

 

NICK  
What’s up, sluts?

 

QUENTIN  
Nick, please, calm down.

 

NICK  
I am so sorry, Mx. [serious voice] What is up, sluts?

 

QUENTIN  
Forget it, I would call you all sluts if you weren’t kids.

 

JAMES runs in, extremely sweaty and out of breath.

 

JAMES  
Guys! [wheeze] Guess what [wheeze] I did!

 

NICK  
You mean _who_ you did, right?

 

JAMES  
You are technically right, buddy, because I got us some new cast members!

 

ESTHER  
You what?

 

JAMES  
Yeah, today after I got on the football team!

 

NICK  
After you wh--

 

JAMES  
Now, let me introduce to you, Tai Rosen, Jake Love and Sandy Neuman!

 

ESTHER drops her script at the mention of SANDY.

 

The aforementioned enter.

 

ALISTAIR  
Oh my God.

 

JORDAN, LEXI and WREN walk in together.

 

LEXI  
Oh my God. JD is a prep.

 

JAMES  
Funny. How’s that Enoby thing working out for you?

 

LEXI  
I’m fighting the system!

 

JORDAN  
Okay, anyone wanna tell me what they are doing here?

 

ESTHER  
They are our new cast members. Now please let’s run something, anything.

 

SANDY  
Shouldn’t we get scripts first?

 

ESTHER  
Right, scripts! Right this way!

 

ESTHER leads SANDY, TAI and JAKE off to the scripts, and QUENTIN sits down at the desk.

 

QUENTIN  
Alright, let’s try the opening number!

 

JAMES  
We still need adults.

 

QUENTIN  
Alright, the song after that then! What was it?

 

LIZ  
"You And I". I can do piano accompaniment, if that would help, seeing as I don’t have a real part anyway?

 

WREN  
Ensemble _is_ a real part, Liz.

 

LIZ smiles fakely at her, and stalks to the piano, sitting down and pulling out her sheet music.

 

She begins to play the introduction to "You And I", as most of the ensemble look confused, flipping through their scripts.

 

ALISTAIR runs onto the stage and begins to pace back and forth.

 

ESTHER  
We haven’t staged it yet!

 

QUENTIN  
Just go with the flow, what’s the worst that can happen?

 

ESTHER  
So much. Death. Destruction. General calamity.

 

QUENTIN  
It’s not like any of the kids will die doing this.

 

ESTHER  
As someone who’s directed Shakespeare with Year 8s, I think I have a right to say you’d be surprised. Kids are murderous little fuckers.

 

JAMES takes a deep breath, then throws his script down. He runs up to the stage, fully in character, as the others stare on, expecting him to make a joke of the whole show.

 

ESTHER  
Please God, take me now. Just take me right now.

 

JAMES stares at ALISTAIR for a moment.

 

JAMES  
[quietly] Do you mind if I, like… hold you and stuff?

 

ALISTAIR  
Yeah, yeah, totally, hold all you like. I mean, characters would, obviously, but like it-- You don’t know about this stuff, let’s just sing.

 

LIZ sighs and starts to play from the beginning. ALISTAIR starts to pace the stage again.

 

ALISTAIR  
Hail Mary, full of grace, the Lord is with thee, blessed art thou amongst women and blessed is the Fruit of thy womb, Jesus. Holy Mary, Mother of God, pray for us sinners now, and at the hour of our death.

 

As the music speeds up, JAMES rushes to hold ALISTAIR from behind, startling him for a moment.

 

JAMES  
_Hey, little boy, would you like a ride? A lollipop, a puppy? How about a baseball bat, there’s one in my pants!_

 

Most of the ensemble laughs at this, apart from ESTHER - who is focused on her work - and JAKE - who smiles weakly.

 

ALISTAIR  
Uh, NO! _Thank you. My mom, she said to never talk to strangers._

 

JAMES  
[leaning in with a smile] _So a kiss out of the question then?_

 

ALISTAIR  
[voice cracking] Um, yep!

 

Some people hide their laughter, as ESTHER stares on with her jaw dropped.

 

ALISTAIR  
[leaning away] _So, where were you?_

 

JAMES  
Your mum’s place.

 

ALISTAIR  
That-- That’s not the line!

 

ESTHER  
Well, you can’t really say that, can you?

 

JAMES  
I don’t think ‘yep’ is the line either.

 

ALISTAIR is speechless.

 

LIZ  
Well, if you two don’t bother learning your lines, maybe we should just get new people for the main parts.

 

JORDAN shifts uncomfortably in her seat.

 

ESTHER  
We barely got these people for the main parts.

 

QUENTIN  
Ladies, ladies, please! Let’s just… let’s move on, huh? Shall we try and just read through the lines, no music, with the new cast?

 

ESTHER  
That’s so… Wait. That’s not a bad idea.

 

QUENTIN  
[smiling widely] I know. Let’s start!

 

ALISTAIR and JAMES get off the stage and sit down.

 

ESTHER looks at ALISTAIR like ‘what the fuck?’ and ALISTAIR shrugs, moving as far away from JAMES as possible.

 

NICK pats JAMES on the back, and everyone gets out their scripts.

 

QUENTIN  
And… action!

 

_COMMERCIAL BREAK_

 

FADE IN:

 

INT. CANTEEN, SSS - MIDDAY

 

JORDAN, WREN and LEXI sit at a table, with LIZ sitting on the other side of the room, glaring at them.

 

WREN  
When is she gonna stop being angry at us?

 

LEXI  
I don’t know babe, do any of us ever stop being angry at the world?

 

JORDAN  
Is it really just because I got Ivy?

 

WREN  
I think you and I both know it’s never about _one_ thing with Liz.

 

JORDAN  
Well, whatever it is, it’s bullshit.

 

LEXI  
Just give her some time. She can’t stay away from you too long. I mean us.

 

WREN  
I think it's pretty bad this time. She wouldn't even partner with me in maths, and you know how much Liz loves doing maths.

 

LEXI  
And doing meth…

 

They laugh as the camera pans to a girl standing on a chair, holding a megaphone - ESTHER.

 

STUDENT [O.S.]  
God, not a-fucking-gain.

 

ESTHER  
Theatre is a vital part of student life! It can enrich the mind, expand your horizons, help you make new friends!

 

No response, general chatter continues.

 

ESTHER  
[still hopeful] It can actually help your mental health, and…

 

People just keep talking.

 

ESTHER  
[backup plan] It’ll help you get into college? And it won’t cut into your revision time much?

 

A little more silence, as people start to look up.

 

ESTHER  
[hope returning] And the government don't want you to be doing it? And, uh, you get out of lesson for rehearsals, sometimes.

 

Some people get up and take fliers from ESTHER.

 

ESTHER  
Thank you! Thank you! No part is too small to be legally allowed to spit on Margaret Thatcher’s grave!

 

As BRYAN accepts a flier and sits down, we pan around to the Football Table, where JAMES looks very awkward next to JAKE and TAI.

 

JAMES pulls out his phone and texts NICK to meet him after lunch, getting a smiley face in return.

 

JAMES  
God, she’s such an icon.

 

BRYAN  
She’s fucking annoying, that’s what she is.

 

TAI  
She’s… not that bad.

 

BRYAN  
Come on, what are you, one of those pretentious fucking drama kids?

 

TAI  
You literally just got a flier.

 

JAKE  
Why do you say ‘drama kid’ like it’s a swear word?

 

JAMES  
Because it is. Get with the times, Jacob.

 

BRYAN  
Look, I’ll just get the extra credit, skip performances. Duh. Do you really want to end up sitting with them?

 

BRYAN motions to ESTHER and ALISTAIR, who are pretty much completely alone, but talking very animatedly to each other.

 

BRYAN  
You’re lucky enough to be here. Take what you can get, Crabs.

 

TAI  
That’s not my fucking name.

 

The team laughs.

 

JAKE  
[under his breath] Lobster.

 

JAMES  
Your name’s spelled with a fucking ‘y’, mate. As in, why did your parents decide to keep you?

 

BRYAN  
Funny. Are you coming to practise or not?

 

JAMES  
Considering I’m on the team…

 

TAI  
[sigh] I’ll get the water.

 

The team gets up and goes out, TAI looking sadly at the theatre table, JAMES looking sadly at his phone and JAKE looking happily at the team.

 

FADE TO:

 

INT. AUDITORIUM - LATE AFTERNOON

 

Another rehearsal. No one new has shown up, and ESTHER is very disappointed. QUENTIN has not shown up yet.

 

LIZ is rehearsing piano in the corner, JORDAN, WREN and LEXI are talking together, TAI, SANDY and JAKE are doing homework, and ALISTAIR is failing to comfort ESTHER.

 

ALISTAIR  
I’m sure they all just forgot. All one hundred of them.

 

ESTHER  
This show is going to flop harder than Mr Webber’s attempt at Broadway…

 

ALISTAIR  
Yeah, probably…

 

ESTHER  
Not helping!

 

ALISTAIR  
I don’t know the comfort words, sorry!

 

ALISTAIR pats her awkwardly on the arm and walks away, leaving ESTHER to sigh and put her head in her hands.

 

SANDY  
Hey, I’m sure people will come. They just… need something to pique their interest, you know? Like a performance or a bake sale or--

 

ESTHER  
That would be nice, if people actually paid attention to assemblies. Like ever.

 

SANDY  
I’m sure it would get _some_ people interested…

 

ESTHER  
God, you’re probably right. I better find a song because it’s not as if Mx will.

 

SANDY  
There’s a football game on Saturday, I could definitely get us a performance slot after that.

 

ESTHER  
[clapping] Oh my god, Sandy you’re an angel and a genius. Let’s print out lyric sheets.

 

They both get to work, sitting in a strange, comfortable silence.

 

JAMES wanders onto the stage and over to where LIZ is playing piano - one of Mozart’s symphonies.

 

JAMES  
How are you so focused all the time? This morning I almost forgot socks are supposed to go _under_ shoes.

 

LIZ ignores him, half meaning to, half genuinely not sure if he’s talking to her.

 

JAMES  
So, uh… have you studied for the science test yet? ‘Cause I am _way_ behind.

 

LIZ stops playing.

 

LIZ  
Yeah, I don’t think you’ve been awake in a class since 2008.

 

JAMES  
Ninth symphony, right?

 

JAMES picks up his guitar and plays the same tune as her.

 

LIZ  
You know classical?

 

JAMES  
A bit. But it’s not really my thing. You see, the problem with classical is, it’s so rigid, structured. There’s no room for improvisation. You have to play the notes on the page.

 

He puts the guitar back down.

 

JAMES  
Was nice talking to you.

 

LIZ  
Me too. You too. I mean I enjoyed it too. Thank you.

 

ESTHER  
Okay, Mx is clearly not going to turn up, so you’re free.

 

ALISTAIR  
None of us are free under capitalism.

 

ESTHER  
You are so right and I love you. Anyways, if you decide to bail on Friday, I’ll fuck you up in some ambiguous way, alright?

 

ALISTAIR  
Yeah, I love you too.

 

The group trickle out in their groups, except JAMES and LIZ.

 

CUT TO:

 

EXT. STREET - EARLY EVENING

 

The camera follows ALISTAIR as he walks down a very very suburban middle class road, listening to something on his headphones. JAKE appears, running up behind him.  

 

JAKE  
Hey! Headphones boy!

 

ALISTAIR does not hear him, or maybe ignores him, so he runs faster to catch up. He succeeds, and taps ALISTAIR on the shoulder, who roughly pulls his headphones down.

 

ALISTAIR  
Fuck! I mean-- Please don’t do that.

 

JAKE  
I’m really sorry, I just didn’t know how else to get your attention.

 

ALISTAIR  
Well… you have it now. Why do you want it? [pause] Can I offer you a 50% off deal on it?

 

He chuckles nervously, moving as far away from JAKE as he can.

 

JAKE  
It’s just that this is my road, and I literally never have anyone to walk with, because it’s mostly inhabited by old age pensioners. I’m doing lawn mowing for like ten different people at the moment. Anyway, just, since we’re in the show together now I thought--

 

ALISTAIR  
Sorry to disappoint, but I could _not_ live around here. Also, there is definitely no 50% off deal for anyone who does - you’re going to have to pay full price for my attention because… Well, you don’t care about the whole corruption of capitalism and shit.

 

JAKE  
What’s the full price?

 

ALISTAIR  
[panicking] A blood sacrifice.

 

JAKE  
How can you have 50% of a blood sacrifice anyway…? Never mind. So, um, the show isn’t going so great, is it?

 

ALISTAIR  
It could be better, but it’ll come together. I mean, we’re all in this together, right?

 

JAKE  
Is that what you were listening to?

 

ALISTAIR  
No! I mean, High School Musical is good, I had the hugest crush on Zac Efron for a good portion of my childhood, but nowadays I’m more of a 35MM kind of guy. Not that anyone would know what that is but… What’s your excuse?

 

JAKE  
An appreciation for the classics, I don’t know.

 

They slow down at JAKE’s house, the most middle class of them all, though it’s clear that he’s an only child, and it’s also clear that neither of them want the conversation to end. The sun is starting to set.

 

ALISTAIR  
What do you think of the show?

 

JAKE  
The music is good. Great, actually! It’s all just a little too in-your-face for my taste, you know?

 

ALISTAIR  
No?

 

JAKE  
Maybe it’s just me.

 

ALISTAIR  
[defensive] Yeah, maybe.

 

JAKE  
Anyway, do you want to walk back together tomorrow? I have lawn mowing to do. Gotta earn them dollars so I can buy your attention.

 

ALISTAIR  
Christ, that sounds like if some drunk 14 year old wrote Romeo and Juliet.

 

JAKE  
Oh, shit, um… I’m going to go. See you tomorrow, headphones boy?

 

ALISTAIR  
Uh, we’ll see.

 

JAKE goes inside, scrunching his face up in embarrassment, as ALISTAIR pushes his headphones back on and continues on his way, repressing a smile.

 

CUT TO:

 

INT. SSS OFFICE - EVENING

 

A group of adults, including QUENTIN, WEBBER, and HEDGE, are sitting around a large oval table, looking bored out of their minds. HEDGE, who clearly would rather be anywhere else, notices that all eyes are on him to finish the meeting.

 

HEDGE  
Alright. Before we finish up this meeting of the board of governors, one final subject. The year 11 musical. Our new staff member, Mx Stenberg, has chosen bare: A Pop Opera.

 

A flannel-wearing, short-haired woman sitting across from QUENTIN - EMMA WOODS - looks at them with an impressed nod.

 

EMMA  
[only for QUENTIN] I love that show, great choice.

 

HEDGE  
And while we believe it is a lovely choice for the play, showing inclusion and all that, we also believe that some of the scenes might be too… risque for a younger audience.

 

QUENTIN  
Are you going to… tell me what those scenes are?

 

HEDGE  
Quentin. There is a scene where two teenage characters have unprotected sex in a church. There are 11 year olds at this school.

 

QUENTIN  
Look, mate, I’m not going to make the kids…

 

HEDGE  
Some of us… [glances at WEBBER] think it would be better if you cut the pregnancy plot.

 

WEBBER  
Or just cut the show all together.

 

QUENTIN  
Are you serious?

 

HEDGE  
[trying to get back to quiet] Emma! As our… representative for equality and diversity on the board, what do you think about children being exposed to this content?

 

EMMA  
It raises awareness. The issues in the show are things that anyone could face. What would you do if a kid got pregnant or wanted to commit suicide? Just cut them out?

 

QUENTIN  
That is exactly what I was about to say!

 

HEDGE  
Listen--

 

EMMA  
Kids need to be exposed to this, Phillip. If they are not they will feel strange and wrong and that will fuck them up, that’s how it works. Not knowing things is the start of the system we have today, and, tell me, how’s that going for us? How much do you get paid? Yeah, exactly, not enough. Why is that? Oh, is it capitalism? Yeah. What is one of the main reasons that we still live in a capitalist society? Oh, is it censorship? Yes, it fucking is, Phillip. Jesus Christ, just let them do one school show and maybe something will change.

 

QUENTIN gives a quiet cheer as EMMA closes her eyes and leans back in her chair, and the rooms falls silent for a moment.

 

WEBBER  
Wait… Phillip, you’re not actually going to listen to _her_ , are you? She works for a charity, she only comes to this school once a month to do an assembly.

 

EMMA  
God, please calm down. I just want to get home to my wife.

 

HEDGE  
Listen, _Andy_ , we have to show support for things like this. The world is so liberal these days. You just have to learn to get over petty things like this.

 

WEBBER  
But--

 

HEDGE  
Enough! The show stays, and the cast will be performing after the football game this Saturday. Meeting adjourned.

 

He stands up and grabs his bag and coat, leaving immediately. The others start to stand up and leave gradually, WEBBER shooting a glare at EMMA, whose eyes are still closed, as he leaves. Soon, only QUENTIN and EMMA are left in the room.

 

QUENTIN  
Um… That was very cool. Thank you.

 

EMMA  
Anything for the theatre, you know?

 

They smile at each other, a mutual understanding formed, and the lights begin to shut off in the school.

 

CUT TO:

 

INT. AUDITORIUM - LATE EVENING

 

LIZ is still at the piano, JAMES still with his guitar.

 

They play the tune to "Touch My Soul" together, the two instruments strangely fitting together.

 

JAMES goes off on his own, doing a sick guitar solo, making LIZ laugh - but she quickly stops.

 

JAMES  
Come on! That was funny!

 

The lights go out. They both scream.

 

LIZ  
You scream like a girl.

 

JAMES  
Yeah, whatever. We should, uh, probably go home.

 

LIZ  
Right.

 

They go to the doors, to find themselves locked in.

 

JAMES  
Motherfucker!

 

LIZ  
Great. This is just… great. I’ll just have to text my parents and tell them--

 

She takes her phone out. It doesn’t turn on.

 

LIZ  
No battery. Wow, today just keeps getting better!

 

JAMES  
We could just sleep here tonight. We still have our bags and shit and I have the ability to sleep under any condition. You can just say you had a sleepover with one of your _gal pals._

 

LIZ  
And you?

 

JAMES  
Oh, my parents don’t care about me.

 

LIZ looks away.

 

JAMES  
Anyway. I’ll just take the left side of the room and you can have the right. Cool? Cool.

 

LIZ  
No, I always sleep on the left side.

 

JAMES  
Alright, Mini Mozart, you do what you like.

 

LIZ lies out her coat, and puts her bag under her head, struggling to get comfortable, while JAMES sits up against a wall and closes his eyes.

 

LIZ  
Goodnight.

 

JAMES  
Yeah. Goodnight, Liz.

 

_FADE TO BLACK_

 

_END OF EPISODE_


End file.
